New blog page…

following the footsteps of my friend Won, I decided to leave Xanga scene.  The contents of my posts will be the same, but I figured this is will be more anonymous, as I haven’t told anyone I moved…

Anyways, I read a fantastic article on ploomy titled

“The 12 Types of Pickup Basketball Players: Which Type Are You?”

I’ll post the contents here as the page might be down due to too many Diggs…

If you regularly play pickup basketball, then you can immediately recognize a certain kind of player. Go to any gym or playground across America, and you’ll probably notice most of these types of “ballers” [disclaimer: this term is used very loosely]. While you would want a few of these guys on your squad, most of them spend more time on the sidelines than the actual courts, as they’re typically on the losing squad and are quick to call next. Here are the 12 types of pickup basketball players.

1. Big Dude who Thinks He’s a Guard

You can recognize this baller immediately because he’s usually the tallest person on the court, yet he never bangs for rebounds and has an atrocious perimeter field goal percentage. He’ll lead a 3-on-1 fast break and pull up for a contested 17 footer. Despite repeated attempts to get him in the paint, he shrivels up like he’s taking a swim in the ocean. Next time you pick teams, be wary about choosing the biggest guy. NBA equivalent: Antoine Walker

2. Guy with the Endorsement Contract

He really doesn’t have a deal with a shoe company, yet he’s dipped from headband to toe in all the same gear, usually from Jordan Brand. He runs a little slower since he can’t crease his brand new kicks. Also his gear contains all the latest wicker proof technology, just in case he might break a sweat. He’s the person checking the other games not for people’s skill level, but more so to checkout what other people are rocking. NBA equivalent: Quentin Richardson

3. The Man

This cat hasn’t left the court in about 6 games since his team always wins, and still doesn’t get tired. He possesses a textbook jumpshot, finds the open man, and is efficient on defense as well as offense. And during these games, his actions look effortless. The best player on the opposing team tries to check him since he doesn’t possess the typical baller look, but he gets defeated along with the rest of his challengers. NBA equivalent: Steve Nash

4. The Fake Baller

This guy looks the part. Has a sinewy and strong body, has a basketball-themed tattoo, either rocks corn-rows or has a shaved head, wears a jersey from an old league he has participated in, and just appears to be a player. But in reality he sucks. He takes most of the shots on the offensive-end and slacks off on D. He possesses poor footwork and is a digital clock – aka no hands. NBA equivalent: Kwame Brown

5. The OG

You know this person because he is there everyday, as he’s a true gym rat. Those kicks he’s wearing aren’t the retro models, they’re just the original shoes. Just like older guys on the golf course always hit straight drives, the old cat is money from 20 feet in. Because he may have lost a step or 3 due to age, he’ll compromise this by playing a little dirtier, so watch them elbows, pulls and grabs. No one really calls off-the-ball fouls during pickup, so you might wish that someone else is guarding you rather than him. NBA equivalent: Robert Horry

6. The And-1 Guy

Probably the most despised in the group, this person watched one too many mixtapes. His basketball aspirations ended prematurely because he couldn’t make the simple pass or make an opposite hand layup, but he could do a 360 crossover between the legs at half-court. Besides either traveling or carrying during every other possession, he usually tries shots with a degree of difficulty of 15 on a 10 scale, and acts surprised when he misses it. In between his trash-talking, he yells “And one!” after every shot attempt. NBA equivalent: Smush Parker

7. The Player/Coach

This person plays with the mentality that every guy is his last. He wears knee braces on both knees and would wear a whistle around his neck if it didn’t get in the way. You might be cutting, yet he’ll yell “Cut!” He is also the first person to call out the screens for you, and remind you every possession if you fail do to so. He’s out calling plays, yet no one really listens to him. He’s scrappy on the defensive end and heady on the offensive side, and he looks for the pass more so than the shot. Yet despite his good intentions and knowledge of the game, he’s more of a liability on the court. NBA equivalent: Jacques Vaughn

8. The Football Player

This baller treats the hardwood as his personal gridiron. He probably just finished lifting weights, so he has even more adrenaline before the game even starts. He dives after every loose ball and fights for every rebound, so you want him on your team. He’s probably moving on all the screens he sets, just to feel that contact. He might even wear a mouthpiece for an added touch. NBA equivalent: Matt Harpring

9. The Perspirer

This guy looks like he just took laps around the pool with his clothes on. And worse yet, you’re guarding him with he’s playing on skins. He might have back hair or bacne or both, and naturally he always wants to play the post. You feel like you might catch some new disease from him after too much contact. He doesn’t use deodorant, as his body odor can enhance his interior game. NBA Equivalent: Andres Nocioni

10. The Hustler

He appears like he’s hustling because he’s huffing and puffing, not because of playing good defense but rather he’s out of shape. Since he is the 6th option on a 5-on-5, he doesn’t worry about getting offensive touches, and tries to contribute elsewhere on the court. If his physical attributes matched his passion for the game, then he would be formidable. He actually keeps his own stats easily because his line is filled with goose eggs. He is the Hustler because he’s hustling a more worthy player of playing time. NBA equivalent: Eric Snow

11. The Cherry-Picker

After a missed shot, usually by him, he casually tries to play D but ends up on the offensive end because the other squad already scored. He’s yelling for the ball since he has a breakaway and gets upset when he doesn’t receive the rock. He rarely ventures within 15 feet of the basket during a half-court set, is indifferent to D, and does not make an impact on the outcome of the game whatsoever. NBA Equivalent: JJ Redick [if he’s still in the NBA].

12. The Chick

There’s bound to be at least one chick during a run. She probably played Varsity for her high school but still maintains that competitive spirit. She’s a little more fundamentally sound than her counterparts, so she’ll generally make the right basketball decision. And she’s kinda cute in a weird sort of way. For some reason if you end guarding her, you almost want her to post you up, just be careful not to pitch a tent. WNBA equivalent: Sue Bird

Which type of player are you?

i’ll keep it real by calling my play similar to Eric Snow…just a hustler.

but for me bball is just a way to run around without getting bored, sweat out toxins, and play to win…

last night I trek’d down to Princeton to play at an open gym…i planned it all out, take an express train to Princeton Junction where my boy Harry would pick me up, head over to Hun school, play pickup games for a couple hours, hit Hoagie Haven for a Heart Stop, then train it back to Secaucus (wife pickup)…

well i neglected to think about the travel costs to go down there.  as i was paying for my train tickets, the cashier said “$23.50″…i was like “$23.50?”….she responds “$23.50″

*doh* kinda retarded to pay so much ($5bucks to play at open gym), but at this point it didnt matter.

anyways, we get there and eventually start a 4on4 pickup, later followed by a 5on5 pickup…

i was in horrific shape, but ran and hustled as best as I could…my shots were way off so i kept my attempts to a very minimum…

everything was going great…our team never lost a game…we are tied up in the last game, and i started feeling a twinge in my calf..

uh oh, cramping up….i try to ignore it and keep playing, but eventually my calf doesnt comply to my wishes, and down i went…

it was sad because i started screaming like a girl…as a couple of the dudes tried to straighten my leg, another dude yelled out “thats what she said”

low blow…made me a bit sad inside…not b/c of the comment, but b/c i had gotten into such bad physical shape, that i could no longer play for 2 hours straight..

pathetic…

i guess that humility goes hand in hand with passing age..for me, that is…

as much as I’d like to ignore the obvious signs, i’m getting old…*sigh*

~ by bkkcm on July 18, 2008.